scott d. feldstein

I was reading some guy’s comment on the internet recently and he used a phrase that caught my eye: “I’m not a traditional man.” Which got me wondering. What’s a traditional man? Am I one?

Off the top of my head, a “traditional” (or perhaps we could use the term “stereotypical”) man would be:

1. A sports fan
2. Competitive
3. The chief bread-winner for his family
4. The parental disciplinarian
5. Emotionally reserved
6. Mechanically inclined, “handy” around the house
7. A physically courageous risk-taker
8. Uninterested in domestic chores like cooking/cleaning
9. “Chivalrous” in behavior toward women, holding doors and pulling chairs, etc.

I could go on. I’m sure you could, too. So let’s analyze the list vis a vis me.

1. Never been a fan of team sports. Individual sports are much more interesting to me, especially combative ones such as boxing, wrestling and Asian martial arts. Verdict: quirky, but not altogether against type. Traditional.
2. I don’t think I’m very competitive, although I do wish more competitive exercises were part of the k-12 curriculum. Verdict: Not very traditional.
3. I have sometimes made more money than my spouse, but more often not. Never been a big deal for me, really. Verdict: Not traditional.
4. I think I was often the easy-going one, truth be told. I like to think that this made it more serious, however, when I did put my foot down. Verdict: Not traditional.
5. I don’t anger quickly, but I don’t think emotionally reserved is an accurate description. Verdict: Not traditional.
6. I know my way around a computer and I could assemble a bicycle but I couldn’t change my oil if my life depended on it. Verdict: Not traditional.
7. I jumped from a perfectly good airplane once and I have faced off with black belt martial artist in competition. I can steel myself to deal with the errant spider or mouse, as well. The only things that really scare me are car accidents and flammable liquids. Verdict: Traditional.
8. I don’t like cleaning, but I do get a nice feeling of accomplishment from a sparkly kitchen. And I love to cook. Verdict: Not traditional.
9. I do open doors for women, but there is a point of weirdness that one doesn’t want to cross with stuff like that. Verdict: Traditional.

So that’s 3 for traditional and 6 for non-traditional. Plus I get an additional non-traditional for having used the phrase “vis a vis” and another one for referencing the k-12 curriculum earlier in this post which brings us to a 3-to-8 ratio for being a non-traditional man.

Bonus: Dig this video. What if men acted like women and vice versa?