Most Wisconsinites will know what I’m talking about firsthand, but for the rest of you, here’s a tip: Noah’s Ark water park in Wisconsin Dells is awesome fun and a pretty good value, too.
Noah’s is basically an amusement park, kind of like Six Flags or Disneyland or Busch Gardens–only it’s all water. Some rides are very roller coaster-like, complete with four-person rafts, motorized lifts, multiple drops, tunnels and g-force-pulling turns. Others are more like elaborate water slides that one goes through on one’s own, either on a mat or just on the seat of one’s swimsuit.
And, according to Wikipedia, there are 49 such rides in the park, plus other attractions, making it the largest water park in the United States. On top of that, it’s clean, the staff is helpful, and the lifeguards (all twenty zillion of them) look alert.
If you live within a day’s drive of Noah’s Ark you should start looking at your calendar right now. Find a summer weekend to drive there, maybe stay over night in one of the nearby hotels, and get seriously wet for a day or two. Bring any kids who can swim, for sure, but it’s especially great if they’re over 48″ tall: Then they can ride even the thrilliest of rides.
But how much is all this going to cost you? Adult day passes are $31.49 online right now and kids day passes (under 48″) are going for $27.99. I know, not too bad, right? Even more astonishing, though, are the food and drink prices inside: Not total scams! How rare is that? I mean, you can get a taco for a buck fifty and a beer for $5.
Here’s some more advice for your trip, gleaned from my experiences this past weekend. Bring lots of sunscreen, towels, swimsuits and a change of dry clothes. Get some shower shoes or, as I did, bring your Crocs. (And put the heel strap on. You’ll need it.) Put a cooler in your car. Fill it with beverages, snacks and even lunch. When you need a break in the middle of the day, head to the parking lot for refreshments. Eat a sandwich, re-apply your sunscreen and head back in for a few more hours of fun.
Leave everything in your car except the key and a few bills for soda and beer. Zip these in a secure pocket of your swimsuit, or buy one of those waterproof cases to wear around your neck. Do not bring a phone or a camera into the park. Keeping it dry will definitely handicap your fun in a big way. Just don’t do it. Even towels are optional; if it’s a hot day, just drip dry between rides. Shirts, hats and other non-swimsuit apparel should be considered on a case-by-case basis. If you can wring it out when wet and won’t lose it on fast rides, go ahead and bring it. It might help keep you sunburn-free. But if you’re just going to be ditching it at the start of the line for every ride, leave it in the car.