The New Karate Kid
March 8th, 2010Daniel: Hey – you ever get into fights when you were a kid?
Miyagi: Huh – plenty.
Daniel: Yeah, but it wasn’t like the problem I have, right?
Miyagi: Why? Fighting fighting. Same same.
Daniel: Yeah, but you knew karate.
Miyagi: Someone always know more.
Daniel: You mean there were times when you were scared to fight?
Miyagi: Always scare. Miyagi hate fighting.
Daniel: Yeah, but you like karate.
Miyagi: So?
Daniel: So, karate’s fighting. You train to fight.
Miyagi: That what you think?
Daniel: [pondering] No.
Miyagi: Then why train?
Daniel: [thinks] So I won’t have to fight.
Miyagi: [laughs] Miyagi have hope for you.
There’s some controversy regarding the upcoming remake of The Karate Kid. According to Jess Helmerly at Boing Boing, this film should not even have been made. I beg to differ.
I get that remakes often fail to live up to the glory of their originals. And that’s sad. I’m thinking here of recent insults to memory such as Willy Wonka. But Wonka is not Karate Kid. The original Wonka still works–the original KK does not.
Yes! It pains me to say it, but The Karate Kid we all saw so many years ago is hopelessly, painfully and irredeemably dated. The scenes with Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio still work beautifully. But the other scenes, the ones of high school life and it’s bullies and babes? Shudder. Unwatchable.
A few years back I watched it again and noted this fact. I said at the time that I hoped someone would remake it.
Now that someone has, I’m of mixed feelings about it. I expect it to be bad to mediocre. But what if? What if they really get something right? What if they are able to capture that coming of age spirit, that mentor/mentee magic? What if they’re able to do it with a minimum of Hollywood bullshit, bad scripting and predictable action scenes?
I’m doubtful. But there’s a spark of hope in there, too. It’s got one thing going for it already: the incredibly talented Jackie Chan.
One other thing. The actual martial arts in the original Karate Kid were terrible. I’m not asking for typical Hollywood super-power fight scenes. But it would be swell if some of these folks actually knew some kind of traditional Asian fighting art. At least in Chan’s case we can be sure he does.
What about you? Fan of the original? Looking forward to the remake? Or are you horrified by the whole thing?

So, it’s small. Which means I’m going to use it to carry credit cards, an ID and maybe a business card. Not cash. Cash can ride in your pocket. (What, you want to risk losing or leaving behind your driver’s license every time you buy a latte? Not me.)